Empathy is often described as the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to feel with them rather than just for them. While some people seem naturally gifted at it, empathy isn’t fixed at birth. Like a muscle, it can be exercised, stretched, and strengthened with practice. Building empathy in small, everyday ways can make your relationships richer and make you feel more connected to the world around you.
Start With Intentional Listening
Most of us think they’re good listeners, but often we’re waiting for our turn to talk or mentally preparing our response while the other person is still speaking. Practicing empathy begins with quieting that internal chatter. The next time someone talks to you about their day or a problem they’re facing, try listening with no agenda. Let them finish without interruption and resist the urge to jump in with advice. Pay attention to their tone, body language, and pauses, because sometimes what’s unsaid carries more weight than the words themselves. This form of listening makes people feel seen and valued, which is at the heart of empathy.
Ask More, Assume Less
When faced with someone else’s behavior, it’s easy to make snap judgments. If a coworker seems irritable or a friend cancels plans, our minds may immediately go to frustration or disappointment. Empathy grows when we pause and get curious instead of assuming we know the whole story. A simple “Is everything okay?” or “Want to talk about what’s going on?” can open doors. By replacing assumptions with genuine curiosity, we not only learn more about others but also remind ourselves that everyone is carrying a story we may not see. Even small acts of asking rather than assuming can shift an entire interaction into one of compassion instead of conflict.
Put Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes
One of the most practical ways to strengthen empathy is to step outside your usual perspective. This doesn’t always have to mean imagining dramatic life experiences. It can be as simple as talking to someone in a different profession, visiting a neighborhood you don’t usually spend time in, or reading a book written by someone from a background unlike your own. These small acts expand your worldview and make it easier to understand perspectives beyond your own daily experience. The more we intentionally broaden our horizons, the more natural it becomes to recognize and respect perspectives that differ from our own.
Practice Micro-Moments of Compassion
Empathy doesn’t have to show up in grand gestures. Holding the door for a stranger, making eye contact with the barista, or offering a genuine thank you to the delivery driver are small acts that tune your brain to notice others’ humanity. When you pause for these tiny connections, you train yourself to look beyond your own bubble. Over time, these small moments accumulate, making empathy less of an effort and more of a natural reflex.
Tune In to Your Own Emotions
It may sound counterintuitive, but paying attention to your own feelings is part of building empathy. When you’re stressed, joyful, anxious, or excited, notice how it feels in your body. Recognize the thoughts and physical sensations that come with those emotions. This practice makes it easier to recognize those same states in others. If you know what nervousness feels like in your chest or how relief shows up in your breathing, you’ll be better equipped to recognize those signs in the people around you. Emotional awareness in yourself becomes a bridge to recognizing and honoring emotions in others.
Limit the Rush to Fix
A common trap when someone shares a struggle is to immediately offer solutions. While advice can be helpful, it’s not always what the other person needs. Empathy is about presence, not problem-solving. The next time someone confides in you, check in before leaping into solutions. Saying something like “That sounds really hard” or “I can see why you’d feel that way” shows that you’re acknowledging their experience, not trying to rush past it. Often, what people need most is a sense that they’re not alone in what they’re feeling.
Reflect on Your Day With Empathy in Mind
At the end of the day, take a moment to think back on your interactions. Were there moments when you tuned out while someone was talking? Did you notice a time when someone seemed upset, but you didn’t ask why? By reviewing the day, you create a feedback loop for yourself, gently nudging your empathy muscle to engage more fully tomorrow. Even small recognitions can spark growth over time, and what feels forced at first gradually becomes second nature.
Make Empathy a Daily Choice
Empathy doesn’t appear out of nowhere, and it doesn’t require extraordinary circumstances. It’s cultivated in ordinary interactions—the way you greet a neighbor or listen to a loved one at the end of the day. Every time you slow down, listen more deeply, and respond with curiosity instead of judgment, you strengthen the muscle. Over time, empathy becomes less about effort and more about instinct, and that shift has the power to transform not only your relationships but also your own sense of belonging in the world.